Good evening coaches! And podcasters! The ol’ EDOTLOCCA got out before you this week (for the first and only time no doubt), so you can actually talk about the up to date Power Rankings! What a week to do it as well, over half the league scored under 80 points… a quarter of the league scored over 140 points… madness! Oh, and two teams put up normal scores, because they are dull. Luckily for them, dullness will not be reflected in the Rankings. Results this week have made everything a bit tricky, I’ve tried to keep it from being too
reactive and look at overall strength, so bear with;
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12. Tom’s Tyrants (1-5) Down 1
Maybe they deserved a bit of luck? Maybe I’m biased? Okay, I am definitely biased. But maybe still the first thing anyway. They may be celebrating the win, but over a quarter of the Week’s points coming from the Kicker? Yeah, the drop to the bottom was needed. Literally every game has become must win, so they were forced to spend big to acquire Boston Scott for coming the week.
11. Patistan (2-4) Up 1
Ahhh, nothing motivates like pure, searing, unadulterated hatred, does it? They simply couldn’t stay bottom after that monster score, but the best thing about it was that, outside of Jefferson, none of the individual scores seemed unsustainably high. Sure, the Kicker and DST scores were high, but that’s playing matchups. Now, to prove it wasn’t a fluke.
10. The Tuckfards (3-3) Non-mover
Mahomes, Hopkins, Claypool. That was my list of players capable of winning you a matchup on this roster. Now, I’ve been beating that drum since the beginning, but they’re still sitting at 3-3, so there is clearly some things going right. Losing Ertz sounds like a bigger deal than it is, but they could do with adding some spice to build on the record.
9. Gridiron Gang (3-3) Non-mover
Decent week and a more than decent result. The bevvy of midround WRs the drafted are starting to come to something useful and waiver pickup Swift just proved timing is everything. The key to this team appears to be high volume guys, they’ll need to keep riding Davis for as long as possible. If Brown pans out, 2020 is complete.
8. Bear Necessities (2-4) Down 3
Last week I said they’d been unlucky, but this time out they just kinda stank. Josh Allen has been trending in the wrong direction, whilst having to replace Cook and Gordon proved too much. The Week 6 team was the weakest they’ve fielded, by a margin, and that record is starting to look like a hurdle that needs overcoming as well. The drop was inevitable.
7. IKSAN (4-2) Non-mover
Not the only predicament team to place this week, but probably the biggest one. On one hand, 60 points scored, fresh off a drop down the rankings, another key injury and an unanswered QB question mark, on the other they got the win and now boast the joint best record. Safe bet = non-mover. Travis Fulgham is the latest man straight from the waivers to the starting line-up, I’m starting to question whether this team even has a breaking point?
6. Burdettinators (3-3) Non-mover
Well, that was a pretty nice week. Those RBs that I was talking about finding themselves in committees came storming through, could have been a last hurrah, but take what you can get in fantasy! Julio reannounced himself as well and Watson has started to put together some top performances since O’Brien left – probably a coincidence, right?
5. Forge Flyers (4-2) Up 3
Last week I called for a team from the (former) 8-10 range to really prove they deserved to bounce up the rankings. I believe the exact words were ‘help me out here’, well Coach Leach delivered. Yes, Henry’s score was crazy, but have you seen that guy? He’s pretty crazy. Kirk’s score line was more ridiculous, the guy had two catches. Nevertheless, a team I started the season very high on, is really coming into their own. By the way, DST hoarding? Under the radar, but I love it.
4. Buccing the Trend (3-3) Non-mover
Some effort appeared to be made to guarantee the loss there. Perhaps they should have stuck with Matt Ryan after all? In fairness, that was their worst bye week, having Metcalf and Jacobs out of your line up would have hurt anyone. The decline of T.Y. Hilton has been one of the sadder stories, swept under the rug in a generally odd year.
3. The Dream Team (4-2) Down 2
And the mighty stumbles yet again, following up a subpar week with a bad one. Kittle looked like Kittle again and that is definitely good, but relying on the Dolphins DST (first person in history?) isn’t a good thing. Mattison isn’t quite as good as Cook it seems and the downgrade of the Cowboys offence on the whole turned out to be a pretty big deal. Hold onto the ball Zeke!
2. U R Gould (4-2) Up 1
Considering that I jinxed them with the massive boost last week, not too bad a score, just a rather ‘on fire’ opponent. Kupp had a stinker, but he’ll bounce back, Jonnu’s injury was unlucky as well and Coach Gardner will hope he doesn’t miss much time. The bench doesn’t offer too much otherwise, although apparently Tim Patrick is going to keep being a thing.
1. Odell or Nodell (3-3) Up 1
Someone told the Packers they only get one bye week, right? That was a stinker, and it really came out of nowhere. They’ve got Kamara back now, Keelan Cole looks like a valuable pickup and Le’Veon Bell could actually be, you know, relevant again now, so there are some silver linings. But you have to go searching for them. Definitely not a week to move up on, but we’re on a combination of past form and everyone around them also doing badly and being less healthy. Sue me.
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You did it, you all clubbed together to bribe Coach Nathwani, he threw the game, and your reward is this outrageously long outro. Seriously, you guys earned this. Now enjoy your reward. Pay no attention to that fact that it is mostly inane ramblings, offering no real insight to, well, anything. That is what an outro is supposed to be! Ahh, now you are starting to realise what you have signed yourselves up for. Yep, scroll down the page, it keeps going. But again, this was all because of you guys. No one would judge you if you skipped ahead, honestly, I mean it is only an outro, To be quite honest, unless you’ve bothered to read the last few outros, this wouldn’t really be making sense anyway. I could explain again quite why I’d cut the outros down? I mean I guess I have the time? Yeah, I caught you glancing down the page again, just skip it, you’re done, you’ve already seen all the good stuff up above any way, right? Or have you? Maybe this is all just part of the plan, separating the wheat from the chaff, and the really good stuff is actually hidden underneath. Well, you were right, you wonderful people that made it all the way through, not all heroes wear capes, but you guys seriously should. And here it comes, the hidden gem, doing Rankings is bloody hard. All the teams I call good keep losing, it makes it impossible! I might as well draw them out of a hat! It’s how everything else is this league works anyway… Seriously though, hard. If only I put as much effort into them as I did this outro. Meh, that’s not going to happen.
TL;DR – there was literally no message.
I promise I’ll never do that again.
Good luck for Week 7!
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