The LOC Report

Thursday, 22 September 2016

EDOTLOCCA's Corner: 2016.4 - Week 3

Hello one and all! What a week in the LOC, we had injuries galore, bench players vastly outscoring starters and, well actually this sounds like a pretty bad week. But all is fair in love and fantasy and after two weeks each division is represented by an undefeated, two .500s and a team that forgot to set their alarm clocks for September. I am going to take this opportunity to take a moment and light a candle (you can’t prove that I didn’t) as I offer my condolences to Coaches Leach and Merritt who aren’t allowed to have RBs and Coach Allen who isn’t allowed to have players, injuries are cruel things. Anyway, onwards and upwards!

Coaches Award

Here we have a very well balanced team that responded brilliantly to a loss last week and can consider themselves unfortunate to be sitting at 1-1. A well drafted team is currently boasting players who are severely outplaying their draft position in the likes of Latavius Murray and Jordan Matthews. Every cog is turning right now and this coach knows better than most to make the most of it while it lasts, well done to Coach Nathwani for winning the Coaches Award this week.

Honourable mention: Coach Stubbs Sr. really isn’t messing around, already leading the league in scoring by nearly 50 points with 272 after two weeks. Of course, the league record two week span does sit at over 400 points, so there is always room for improvement, ayy?

Wooden Spoon

Whilst it didn’t necessarily cost them the game this week, whenever your benched player (and earlier draft pick) outscores your starter nearly 5 fold, you are going to be a primary focus for this award. Coach Allen got it wrong by benching Rivers this week and, like I said, it may not have cost him the game, but it did kick off a good ol’ fashioned QB carousel in camp Patistan, and a yearlong headache for the aforementioned Coach Allen.

Bold predictions

And here we meet 0-12 (still better than the Lions), it hasn’t been a dream start and to be quite frank, I didn’t even come close last week. I of course blame the players and not my psychic powers, I expect all of them to up their games in response this week.

Cash4Gould vs. Forge Flyers: Coach Leach did the obvious thing in picking up A.P.’s backup, then he picked up the backup’s backup… Asiata goes for 3 TDs, like he does every other time he plays.

The Dream Team vs. Gridiron Gang: Coach Stubbs Jr. is sitting pretty with a 45 point lead going into Monday night, unfortunately for him that’s when Brees and Julio face off, with a sprinkling of Bryant just to rub it in.

Sidenote: Dez Bryant is projected to both rush for 1 yard and throw for 1 yard for The Dream Team, look it up. Fair play though NFL.com; that is bold.

Burdettinators vs. The Bunch: Burdettinators third starting QB of the year (it’s working out a lot better than it is for the Browns) is their best yet. Ryan will triple Fitzpatrick’s score and leave The Bunch in the dust.

The Tuckfards vs. Patistan: The most bitter of rivalries in the LOC and The Tuckfards just ran out of RBs, ideal. Melvin Gordon is playing the Colts, he will double the total score of the Tuckfards starting RBs combined.

Bear Necessities vs. IKNAN: A lot of rushing talent on display here, I see this game totalling 8 rushing TDs and generally big scores across the board.

Tom’s Tyrants vs. ADRZ: Coach Wells loves a good pass-catching RB. This weeks with both receivers facing tough matchups, his RBs will out-receive his WRs in fact.


Right, that’s your predictions folks and, ever the optimist, I am sure we have a good one or two gems hidden in there! Anyway, I wish you all luck in your week ahead and I hope you enjoyed the article! P.S. listen to the podcast, I’m in it. See you next week!


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