The LOC Report

Sunday 27 December 2015

Bowl Game Preview

Just thought I'd do a quick write up clarifying the bowl order, what's at stake and who's playing, so here we go

Bowl: Corona Bowl VII
What's at stake: winning the league. The winner will receive whatever draft pick is left, and the loser will be the last to choose (11th) where they want to pick in the draft. If IKNAN win they will also be chancing their name, and £200 goes to the Macmillan fund (courtesy of Chris - who will simultaneously create and win the Chris Leach Man of the Year award)
Who's playing: IKNAN v ADRZ (aka the Acronym Bowl)

Bowl: Kumar Bowl
What's at stake: The last podium place, winner takes 3rd place. The winner gets to pick where they want to pick in the draft (9th) and the loser just behind them (10th)
Who's playing: The Dream Team v Bear Necessities

Bowl: Fruit Bowl
What's at stake: 5th place I guess, but the biggest thing is the draft order. The winner picks 5th overall and the loser 6th
Who's playing: Jeff's Seals (?!) v Tom's Tyrants

Bowl: Fish Bowl
What's at stake: Honestly, nothing really. A goldfish if the winner wants to buy one for themselves? Winner picks 7th in the order, the loser 8th
Who's playing: Burdettinators v Gridiron Gang

Bowl: Soup Bowl
What's at stake: The best of the losers, the winner won't be in the bottom 3. The winner also gets to pick 3rd in the order, the loser 4th
Who's playing: The Tuckfards v The Romosexuals

Bowl: James Milner Bowl
What's at stake: The team that loses this game is crowned the loser of the league for the 2015 season. Perhaps for one team the second year in a row. To rub salt in the wound, the loser also picks 2nd in the draft order. The winner is the first to pick where they want to draft
Who's playing: Forge Flyers v Patistan

I'll just do a quick summary of the draft place picking order just to clarify, and please ask if you have questions. The order picking will start when the winner of the James Milner Bowl chooses where they want to pick, from that point the next team has 24 hours to pick where they want to draft.

Draft picking order (not where you will draft, your priority for choosing where you want to draft):
1. Winner of the James Milner bowl
2 Loser of the James Milner bowl
3. Winner of the soup bowl
4. Loser of the soup bowl
5. Winner of the fruit bowl
6. Loser of the fruit bowl
7. Winner of the fish bowl
8. Loser of the fish bowl
9. Winner of the Kumar bowl
10. Loser of the Kumar bowl
11. Loser of Corona Bowl VII
12. Winner of Corona Bowl VII


Sunday 20 December 2015

Power Rankings: The Brackets

Here we are, at Week 15. While many teams are jostling for draft position, the lucky few are battling it out for the privilege of stamping their ticket to Corona Bowl VII. This Power Rankings article will be a little different. I'll rank the teams competing in their respective brackets - Corona Bracket, Fruit Bracket, and James Milner Bracket.

Power Rankings

Corona Bracket: ADRZ v The Dream Team & Bear Necessities v IKNAN. Winners go to the Corona Bowl, losers to the Kumar Bowl

1. The Dream Team, 8-6: After leading the division for so long, they dropped their last game to Bear Necessities and were at risk of missing out on playoffs altogether. Luckily, other results went their way and they got the wildcard. This team had horrible match ups last week, so look for them to rebound to the Corona Bowl.

2. Bear Necessities, 8-6: This team needed to win, and they did. Despite mountains of injuries the team keeps trucking. I have to believe at some point that they'll run out of steam, and it could definitely be this week as they're at their weakest, but they only need two more good weeks and we could be calling them champions for the second time.

3. IKNAN, 8-6: This team made playoffs by the skin of their teeth. 1.7 points was the difference between making playoffs and not. It wasn't the best of weeks for them, but it was  good enough. The team is volatile, but they can score points, there's no question there. Facing an injury marred roster could send them to their first Corona Bowl.

4. ADRZ, 11-3: The regular seasons best and one of the seasons highest scorers finished the year strong, but I still have worries about this team. They've got a tough first match up, but they have got a good team. You can always count on ADRZ to score points, but now that the opposition is tougher my question is if they'll score enough.


Fruit Bracket: Gridiron Gang v Jeff's Seals & Tom's Tyrants v Burdettinators. Winners go to the Fruit Bowl, losers to the Fish Bowl

1. Gridiron Gang, 8-6: 18 points or 1.7 points. Either way you look at it, that's how close they came to making playoffs. This team had their best week of the year in week 14, but it wasn't quite enough. However, they are the favourite right now for the Fruit Bowl. They've got a good roster, and terrific match ups this week.

2. Tom's Tyrants, 7-7: This team was but one win away from pulling off another heroic comeback, but this time it was one win too many. In very un-Tom's Tyrants fashion, the team imploded at the last hurdle. Still, they've been hot the second half of the season, and they get a shot at revenge for last week against...

3. Burdettinators, 7-7: They've really had a great last month of the season. Considering how bad they were at a time, they've done well to dodge the James Milner Bracket. Now, they even have a chance at the Fruit Bowl. The roster has much improved since that sub 40 point week, and they should have a nice last 2 weeks.

4. Jeff's Seals, 7-7: Insert line about being auto drafted and chosen on projected points. They're not great, but who knows?


James Milner Bracket: The Tuckfards v Forge Flyers & The Romosexuals v Patistan. Losers go to the James Milner Bowl, winners to the Soup Bowl

1. The Tuckfards, 6-8: And here we are at the nosebleeds. At one point Coach Merritt looked like they were destined for another playoff appearance, but they crumbled down the stretch to the tune of 4 straight losses, their first losing season and season without playoffs since 2009. But they should win the Soup Bowl.

2. Forge Flyers, 3-11: And so we come to the end of another painful season for Coach Leach. There are silver linings, they improved on last year and there is no question the roster is better. They've still had some bad weeks, but I think they can have a good finish.

3. The Romosexuals, 6-8: I have no idea what will happen this team. Over the last two weeks they could easily lose both in dramatic fashion or win both by lighting up the scoreboard. It would be a disappointing end to Coach Nunn's first season in 5 years if they take home the losers title.

4. Patistan, 5-9: This team had a few upsets along the way and a few nice weeks to close out the season. However, that was when they had two of their best players, Rawls and Dalton, who have now departed. Coach Allen will show his metal as a coach if he's able to avoid losing the James Milner Bowl.



Tuesday 15 December 2015

2015 LOC Award Nominees

Well here we are at Week 15. You know what that means don’t you? No, not the playoffs (though that’s pretty interesting too I guess), it’s the LOC’s award season! With the regular season now over we can start to dish out the LOC’s various awards. This article will explain the award and tell you who the 4 nominees are in each category, with a little bit about why they’re nominated. Results will be announced before game time in Week 15. (Please note nominees are in no particular order)


Coach of the year

What’s it for?
The coach that has had the finest coaching performance, consistently making good decisions as well as making bold decisions that paid off.

The Nominees
1. Nigel Wells (ADRZ): Doesn’t take a genius to figure this one out. Coach Wells guided ADRZ to their best season in team history (11-3). In a year where points were spread over 2 more teams than usual, this team was the only double digit win team on route to a regular season title. They were top 5 in points left on the bench, 2nd in total scoring, and did a good job coaching the side on the way to a very consistent season.

2. Naithan Stubbs (Gridiron Gang): This is probably the best performance of Coach N. Stubbs’s career. Along the way he made some brave decisions that were absolutely crucial to their season, starting players like Austin-Seferian Jenkins (23pts), Derek Carrier (who?), Thomas Rawls (23pts), Branden Oliver, Spencer Ware (17.5pts) and Shaun Draughn. What’s more, this team was top in points left on the bench after being bottom (or near) in the category in the last few seasons. Here’s a stat for you – from Week 1 to 9 they only left 29.40 points in their bench.

3. Dave Stubbs (Bear Necessities): Another fine season from Coach D. Stubbs. Feels like we’re back in 2009/10 with both Stubbs succeeding doesn’t it? They can only hope so. They were 6th in points left on the bench, which is actually impressive considering they scored the most points in the league this year. That’s incredible, considering all the injuries this team has been through. Despite the points left on the bench, they’ve really extracted everything they could from this roster.

4. Viv Nathwani (The Dream Team): This team has just been a model of consistency all year, and it’s all down to Coach Nathwani. Many criticised the team, but hey, warranted or not the coach got the points out of them. From Week 6 onwards this team never dropped below 90 points. In that span, they went over 100 5 times. They also have another feather in their cap, as they were 3rd in coach score, very rarely leaving more than 10 points on the bench each week.


General Manager of the year

What’s it for?
The GM that assembled the best roster. A good draft was further reinforced by shrewd roster decisions when it came to waivers, free agency, and trading.

The Nominees
1. Ben Sherwood (IKNAN): GM Sherwood’s draft could easily go down as one of the best in history. Ok, maybe it didn’t deliver the best possible team, but going completely off map with a unheralded strategy is bold. When you couple that with the fact it was a moneyball-esque system, it’s even more impressive. However, the only downside is once this team lost Arian Foster the GM was never able to find consistent RBs. That was the design of the roster, but it was often a source of weakness.

2. Dave Stubbs (Bear Necessities): Right from the get go I liked this team. They had a good draft, in which they made the bold decision to draft TE Rob Gronkowski in the 1st round. Once again their waiver pick-ups throughout the year good and they needed to be with all the injuries the team would suffer. Dion Lewis, Chris Johnson, Charcandrick West, Brandon Marhsall and Jonathan Stewart were expert decisions.

3. Naithan Stubbs (Gridiron Gang): You all know it by now, this GMs plan was #BradyOrBust. GM Stubbs had a good draft, but he was very busy on the transactions, leading the way with 57 roster moves in total (the next closest was The Tuckfards with 55, but GG only had 8 DEF & K moves, while TTU had 21 of those). With some great one week additions (ASJ, Rawls, Carrier) and some more permanent ones (Floyd, Draughn) and a trade (Johnson), GM Stubbs showed why he’s the 5 time GM of the year.

4. Viv Nathwani (The Dream Team): A lot of people doubted this roster, especially after a slow start, but I was always a big fan. McCoy, Murray, Bryant, Olsen, Forsett, Williams were all highlights for me. They also did a good job with the waiver wire, highlighted by picking up Palmer (which may be the add of the season) and Michael Crabtree. This roster was one of the most consistent of the year.


League Commissioner Award

What’s it for?
This award is for outstanding contribution to the league off the field, as well as sportsmanship, dedication, and passion for the league.

The Nominees
1. Ben Sherwood (IKNAN): Ben put his hat into the ring for Team Ambassador this year, and he has done an excellent job. With his new role has come a new found dedication and passion to the league, which I predicted would happen before the season started. He’s made appearances on many episodes of the LOC Report this season, and also contributed some fantastic articles without being asked.

2. Phil Merritt (The Tuckfards): So this coach’s main Achilles heel trying to win this award is his sportsmanship. But no one can doubt his dedication or passion (despite rumblings of a potential retirement). He’s also made many appearances on the LOC Report.

3. Tom Barnes (Tom’s Tyrants): After no one was elected to the EDOTLOCCA role, it was down to Commissioner Stubbs to appoint someone. The first man he asked was Tom, replacing the first EDOTLOCCA of 4 years, Ollie Burdett. Tom’s done a tremendous job of stepping into the role, providing excellent support to the Commissioner, writing his own weekly articles, helping out on draft day, and making an appearance here and there on the LOC Report

4. Pat Allen (Patistan): Finding a 4th nominee was tough for this category, but I chose Pat. Despite not knowing much about fantasy football, the dedication he has shown to the league in his rookie year is laudable. He made an appearance on the LOC Report, and always shows good sportsmanship.


Comeback Award

What’s it for?
A great in-season turnaround or a great turnaround from a previously bad year.

The Nominees
1. Dave Stubbs (Bear Necessities): If coach D. Stubbs goes onto win the Corona Bowl, it may replace Tom’s Tyrants 2014 and Gridiron Gang’s 2010 seasons as the most dramatic comebacks of all time. This was a team that started 0-4 in their division. We know the bar is usually around 8-6 to make playoffs, so they had to win 8 of their last 10 to make playoffs. That’s exactly what they did.

2. Tom Barnes (Tom’s Tyrants): I’m convinced Coach Barnes thinks that the Comeback award is the most prized award in the LOC. How else can you explain it? Last year they were 2-5, came back on a momentous run and won it all. This year they thought they could one up themselves, going 2-6. All they needed was one more win this season and they would have done it again, but alas they came up one short (to the delight of many in the LOC I’m sure).

3. Nigel Wells (ADRZ): 2014 was a lost season for Coach Wells, it’s no secret. Going 5-9, good for their second worst record in team history, it wasn’t a good years. They missed the draft (due to reasons out of their control) and the roster never felt like his all season long. But he more than made up for it in 2015, becoming the kings of the regular season, and perhaps the 2015 champion.

4. Ross Nunn (The Romosexuals): You’re probably thinking why is Coach Nunn nominated? He didn’t have a great turnaround this season or the last. But this comeback is for un-retiring. The last time this coach was patrolling the fantasy side-lines was in 2010 when Brett Favre, Kurt Warner, Junior Seau (RIP) were playing.  That’s a loooooong time ago, but he hasn’t missed a beat, having a good first season, and he was 1.7 points away from going 7-7.


Overachiever Award

What’s it for?
The team that exceeded all expectations or overcame a lot to get where they are.

The Nominees
1. Ollie Burdett (Burdettinators): It’s an odd year, the teams we expected to do well did, and no one really came out of nowhere. Coach Burdett however will be the first to say that 7-7 is probably a generous record, but he sure did earn it. For large stretches of the season this roster was arguably the worst in the league. If you can come out at 7-7 despite that, you’re doing something right.

2. Ross Nunn (The Romosexuals): Coach Nunn turned up on draft day with nothing but himself and his phone. I know some people like to wing it, but this is next level. Little preparation took place, and throughout the season they adopted coaching techniques from the IKNAN school of fantasy football, yet they still turned in a decent season.

3. Nigel Wells (ADRZ): Coach Wells is one of the good coaches of the league, but until now no one could make the case he is one of the best. I’ve long been a supporter of Coach Wells, and always thought he was much better than the rep he got. Now he has the record to support it, and with 2 playoff appearances he might finally gain some respect.

4. Phil Merritt (The Tuckfards): Every year we talk about how The Tuckfards roster doesn’t look good, yet they turn in good year after year. This is their first losing season since 2009 and the first time they’ve missed the playoffs since 2010. Once again some of the names on this roster would have made most coaches stomachs curdle, but not Coach Merritt, and he got another decent season out of his side.


Luck Award

What’s it for?
The team who seemed to have luck on their side for most of the season, as fantasy skill and talent sure can’t explain it!

The Nominees
1. Nigel Wells (ADRZ): ADRZ had a great year, definitely. ADRZ was the second highest scoring team, absolutely. ADRZ conceded far less than every other team, you bet your sweet ass they did. ADRZ’s side conceded a mere 1218.74 points this season. The next closest was 1295.40. Everyone else was north of 1300 with some having as much as 1562.80. Look, there’s a good chance ADRZ would have made playoffs even if they had conceded more, but they wouldn’t have won 11.

2. Phil Merritt (The Tuckfards): I’m just going to write some names down. Doug Baldwin. Gary Barnidge. James Jones. Percy Harvin. Travis Benjamin. Antonio Andrews. Ryan Fitzpatrick. Derek Carr. None of these players were on anybody’s fantasy radar this season. And yet, here we are, all of these players were fantasy relevant for The Tuckfards at one point in the season. And for that sir Merritt, you have earned a nomination for the Luck Award.

3. Pat Allen (Patistan): Now you might be slightly confused as to how a 5-9 team, that was plagued by injuries, inconsistency, and general poor play for a lot of the season, might possibly be up for the Luck Award. Well, I’ll tell you. Of Coach Allen’s 5 wins, 4 of them came when they scored less than 100 points. To make it better, in 3 of those 4, they scored 85, 83 and 73. Yep, pretty lucky if you ask me.

4. Ross Nunn (The Romosexuals): Coach Nunn is up for the Luck Award for similar reasons as the Overachiever Award. He didn’t do any preparation on draft day, yet came out with a good team. He adopted the IKNAN school of coaching, and it somehow got them to 6 wins. It’s fair to wonder where this team would had the coach paid more attention, but 6 wins is still pretty good all the same.



Saturday 12 December 2015

2015: It's the Final Countdown

In a special (essentially) game day edition of the LOC Report, we take a look back at the Week 13 and who fell out of the playoff race, while taking a look at the always anticipated Week 14. Coach Barnes and Commissioner Stubbs try to predict the playoff teams.

EDOTLOCCA's Corner: Week 14 Extravaganza: Part 2

Dearest readers, you have had one half of this self-appointed extravaganza and now here comes the second! We have been thoroughly spoiled in the LOC; Commissioner Stubbs gave us power rankings, Team Ambassador Sherwood gave us playoff chances, but as of yet no one has told us exactly who will be in the playoffs and how that might come about – that sure would be bold wouldn’t it? Well, once again the EDOTLOCCA comes to the rescue, here we go with some utterly reckless and overly precise speculation!

Week 14

Bear Necessities vs. The Dream Team
Playoff implications: Huge! Really huge! There is a strong chance that the winner of this game makes the playoffs and the loser doesn’t.
BN: Culter – 18.76, Stewart – 7.80, Yeldon – 9.20, Sanders – 8.60, Marshall – 17.90, Chandler – 6.70, West – 6.60, Catanzaro – 11.00(f), Seahawks – 18.00
TDT: Palmer – 24.70(f), McCoy – 15.20, Murray – 6.50, Adams – 4.80, Bryant – 15.40, Olsen – 8.00, Crowell – 4.20, Gould – 8.00, Rams – 7.00
Winner: Bear Necessities 104.56 – 93.80

Forge Flyers vs. ADRZ
Playoff implications: None
FF: Winston – 33.08, Williams – 8.50, Freeman – 7.30, Johnson – 11.30, Brown – 13.80(f), Gates – 7.60, Blount – 4.60, McManus – 12.00, Chiefs – 14.00
ADRZ: Bortles – 29.68, Gore – 14.00, Gurley – 5.20, Green – 19.80, Hurns – 11.50, Hillman – 6.10, Brown, 10.00, Patriots – 6.00
Winner: Forge Flyers 112.18 – 102.28

Patistan vs. Jeff’s Seals
Playoff implications: None
P: Dalton – 28.40, Allen – 4.90, Rawls – 14.40, Cobb – 4.60, Hilton – 8.90, Ebron – 2.20, Decker – 12.40, Santos – 9.00, Eagles – 4.00
JS: Rodgers – 31.56, McCluster – 2.60, Johnson 12.30(f), Jeffrey – 13.20, Cooper – 4.30, Cameron, 1.80, Austin – 9.20, Hopkins – 7.00, Texans, 5.00
Winner: Patistan 88.80 – 87.86

The Tuckfards vs. Gridiron Gang
Playoff implications: Very high, both teams are on the bubble and need the win, but they could still both miss out.
TTU: Taylor – 20.66, Peterson – 12.60(f), Williams – 0.20(f), Baldwin – 14.60, Robinson – 18.30, Barnidge – 9.40, Parker – 10.40, Prater – 7.00, Cardinals – 11.00(f)
GG: Brady – 19.84, Draughn – 12.60, Miller – 3.80, Floyd – 16.20(f), Hopkins – 10.10, Reed – 9.60, Lacy – 4.50, Hauschka – 12.00, Jets – 13.00
Winner: Gridiron Gang 104.16 – 101.64

IKNAN vs. The Romosexuals
Playoff implication: Important, IKNAN can secure the division.
IKNAN: Newton – 35.62, Bernard – 10.60, Jones – 6.00, Thomas – 12.40, Evans – 13.20, Rodgers – 8.10, Brown – 16.80, Gostkowski – 9.00, Broncos – 12.00
TR: Smith – 19.04, Forte – 8.70, Johnson – 6.20, Fitzgerald – 4.10(f), Beckham – 16.60, Kelce – 4.00, Watkins – 12.50, Crosby – 6.00, Bills – 9.00
Winner: IKNAN 123.72 – 89.14

Tom’s Tyrants vs. Burdettinators
Playoff implications: Important, Tom’s Tyrants could sneak in
TTY: Roethlisberger – 25.72, Ivory – 11.10, Martin – 9.20, Bryant – 5.90, Jones- 5.30, Eifert – 13.60, Landry – 15.20, Gano – 10.00, Packers – 8.00
B: Fitzpatrick – 28.58, McFadden – 8.80, Murray – 3.90, Ammendola – 11.20, Maclin – 13.40, Watson – 9.00, Hill – 11.70, Nugent – 11.00, Panthers – 18.00
Winner: Burdettinators 115.58 – 104.02

Result

There we have it, everything has been confirmed! IKNAN secure the Winchester division, Bear Necessities steal the Southampton division at the last and The Dream Team hold on for the wildcard. These three teams join ADRZ in the playoffs. Gridiron Gang are pipped on points scored for the second year running and Tom’s Tyrants don’t quite pull off the comeback again. In Week 15, the playoffs games are as follows: ADRZ vs. The Dream Team and IKNAN vs. Bear Necessities. Also, congrats to ADRZ for being the regular season champs and IKNAN for being the highest scorers - the acronyms are rising!

PS. Sorry to everyone who was looking forwards to this week, should have said spoiler alert at the start I suppose.
PPS. Screw you to anyone who changes their line up before the matches start.

Friday 11 December 2015

EDOTLOCCA's Corner: Week 14 Extravaganza: Part 1

Hello! Happy Week 14 gentlemen and what a week it is going to be! In honour of the upcoming dramatic end to the season, not to mention our fabulous commissioner’s birthday, I thought I would mix it up a bit here! So, instead of your standard awards and bold predictions, we are going to have a team by team review followed by an incredibly precise rendition of my standard set of predictions – but that will succeed this piece. That is right, welcome to your first ever 2 part EDOTLOCCA’s Corner! So, before the compensation claims for having fallen off the edge of one’s seat flood in: here we go!

Team Review

ADRZ: 10-3, 1328.48 pf, playoffs: guaranteed, grade: A

The stats already do all the talking for ADRZ, they have had a fantastic season and are the only team guaranteed to make playoffs. What the stats don’t highlight however is the loss of key starters like Jamaal Charles and Steve Smith, plus the brave decision to replace starting QB Russell Wilson – this team has been very well managed throughout the season.
Highlight: Week 8, 144.5 points after losing Charles to injury to extend the record to 7-1, this was the week that really cemented ADRZ as a title contender.
Low Point: Week 12, losing to a bitter rival and starting to look like they might slow down at just the wrong time, redeemed themselves the following week though.

Bear Necessities: 7-6, 1372.00 pf, playoffs: good chance, grade: A-

After a truly woeful start this has been an impressive season for the former champs, they had a high risk draft strategy and have suffered several key injuries yet remain one of the highest scorers in the league. Once again this coach has shown a true affinity with the waiver wire, the playoffs would be the icing on the cake.
Highlight: Week 13, a critical, and very tight, win against a playoff rival and the first time they have been above .500 all season.
Low Point: Week 4, sinking to 0-4 and starting to look like their season was over before it had a chance to begin.

Burdettinators: 6-7, 1167.00 pf, playoffs: mathematically, grade: C+

Despite a late season charge, this has been a season to forget for Coach Burdett. They have the second lowest points scored in the league and have been bitterly inconsistent, whilst also witnessing the decline of franchise legend Peyton Manning. The end of season form is impressive, but this team will be looking forwards to next year.
Highlight: Week 12, a truly heroic comeback victory against a fierce rival, ending the longest losing streak in LOC history.
Low Point: Week 10, putting up a dismal 39.40 points and simultaneously Manning’s swan song with an appalling -6.60.

Forge Flyers: 3-10, 1240.22 pf, playoffs: no, grade: C+

What more is there to say about Forge Flyers? It has just been one of those seasons, the most important statistic here is 1420.60 points against, just terribly bad luck. The bright spark for Coach Leach is that at least it was better than last season! This team’s talent is miles ahead of v2014.
Highlight: Week 3, Devonta Freeman’s coming out party shook the league, a definite contender for FA of the year.
Low Point: Week 13, unfortunately the story of their season, putting up a respectable score only to have their opponents trample all over them with a monster stat line.

Gridiron Gang: 7-6, 1294.72 pf, playoffs: slim chance, grade: B

This season really could have been special for Gridiron Gang, they had a strong draft and have all but garnered a restraining order from the FA, but it is starting to look like this one slipped away. A few too many of their players have been too inconsistent, and lots of their early season victories came against low scoring opponents. However, if there is one thing Coach Stubbs Jr. has taught us it is that franchise QBs will win you games #BradyOrBust.
Highlight: Week 6, an impressive victory against a divisional opponent and they appeared to be cruising to the post season.
Low Point: Week 7, a tough loss in the infamous Father/Son Bowl and the start of a 2-5 stretch for the team.

IKNAN: 7-6, 1376.68 pf, playoffs: good chance, grade: B+

I have liked this team from draft day, there is no secret there, but they played a very high risk strategy and at times this season it has faltered. Regardless of the RB position’s, let’s say lack of depth, this is the highest scoring team in the league and that deserves commendation. The only thing that will keep them out of the playoffs is their own inconsistency.
Highlight: Week 13, just when you thought it was all over they pull off the biggest week of the season (as predicted by yours truly).
Low Point: Week 12, the reason we thought it was all over, 58.02 was a real stinker and a reminder of their inconsistency week to week.

Jeff’s Seals: 6-7, 1197.60 pf, playoffs: mathematically, grade: C-

What can I say about an auto-drafted and virtually unmanaged team? Well, I suppose I could say it is a miracle they can still mathematically qualify for playoffs, safe to say they won’t however. This team is looking forwards to a new coach and in the meantime, we have proved that auto-drafting and projected scores are almost entirely average in terms of wins, congrats to the system!
Highlight: Week 2, still had a coach and picked up the win, dream week I suppose!
Low Point: Week 8, they had already lost their coach and then Bell went down injured, more or less erasing their chances.

Patistan: 5-8, 1124.54 pf, playoffs: no, grade: B-

Whilst playoffs are out of the question, 5 wins has been a good total for this team. The RB situation has been dire, but Coach Allen went on about sorting that out through trades and the waiver wire, and I personally believe they have done a decent job. The trading and waiver wire use were both impressive from the rookie coach, they lost a little faith late in the season however, hopefully a more competitive 2016 will combat that though.
Highlight: Week 13, whilst this was a loss, the team looked really impressive with lots of FA and trade acquisitions, this week made me believe they can be a contender next season.
Low Point: Week 9, another loss and a sign of negligence in failing to start an active TE, first sign of lost commitment from the coach.

The Dream Team: 8-5, 1346.16 pf, playoffs: good chance, grade: A-

This was a team I really had doubts over after the draft, but they have proved me very wrong. This has probably been the most consistent team week to week and they have a very complete roster. Benching Brees for Palmer was a very big decision for Nathwani and they clearly nailed it, this could very well be the defining call of their season. Also, if they do make it to the playoffs, only one starting RB is on IR/exempt this year!
Highlight: Week 6, Bryant came back with a splash, rewarding the team’s confidence, plus they took the division lead and are yet to release it.
Low Point: Week 1, a disappointing first week in which I thought my concerns were being confirmed. Not bad having your low point in Week 1 though, ay?

The Romosexuals: 6-7, 1216.18 pf, playoffs: no, grade: C

This team had a very impressive draft and at times this year have looked like real contenders. When the team has been on Coach Nunn’s mind they have been impressive and that is a good sign for future seasons. Consistency has also been a real issue here and that is why they will find themselves on the outside looking in by next week. No one wants to see OBJ on the bench.
Highlight: Week 5, highest scorers in the week with an impressive score , aligns with this team starting to look like one of the strongest rosters in the league.
Low Point: Week 10, another loss and the season was starting to slip away, starting an injured kicker doesn’t look good on the coaching CV either.

The Tuckfards: 6-7, 1368.02 pf, playoffs: slim chance, grade: B+

Another strong Tuckfards team rolls into another season, but are we about to finally experience a postseason without this seemingly ever present team? Wouldn’t this be so like Coach Merritt to pull it off though, I am certainly not counting them out. The ability to turn nobodies into starters is still an impressive trait, but one new thing we have seen from Coach Merritt this season was a few cases of throwing in the flag, keep the faith sir!
Highlight: Week 4, Barnidge hits the scene and steals the win, classic Tuckfards, enough said.
Low Point: Weeks 12/13, I can’t separate them, two close and extremely costly losses right when this teams normally hit their stride.

Tom’s Tyrants: 7-6, 1355.22 pf, playoffs: decent chance, grade: B

Another season and yet again I find myself slowly rapidly losing hair, sleep and various other stree related things, but the comeback is well and truly go again. This isn’t the strongest team they have ever put together but they have remained competitive, a midseason trade could be looked back upon as a masterstroke, franchise QBs matter! #Roethlisbu #Roethle #Rot #BradyOrBust
Highlight: Week 9, the start of the comeback and the QB conundrum seems to have been saved.
Low Point: Week 3, a dismal score in a grudge match, it looked like the wheels were coming off early.


And that we have it, my team by team season review, I hope you enjoyed it (or at least thought it was fair) as a lot of effort went into it! The Week 14 projections will follow tomorrow as this took ages and I am knackered! For now though, have a very temporary Turrah from me!

Wednesday 9 December 2015

Power Rankings: Week 14

Well, here we are. Hard to believe the regular season is at an end. And with it, you're about to read your last Power Rankings article for the next 9 months (well, the regular season edition anyway). Amazingly we actually got some clarity on the playoff race last week, but it's still pretty wide open. Will the best teams all make playoffs? We'll have to see

Power Rankings

1. The Dream Team, 8-5 (1, =): Some continue to doubt this team, but they string together good performance after good performance. Are they leaps and bounds ahead of other teams? No. Are they a solid bet to put up around 100 every week? Absolutely. With the league it is the way now, all you can ask for is a solid roster top to bottom, and that's what they've got.

2. Tom's Tyrants, 7-6 (3, ^1): Coach Barnes second half of the season revival continues, and he's well on his way to another comeback award. The roster is hitting its stride at the right time. While they're not dropping 200 pointers like they were last season, they're still getting it done. One more win and they could easily be in.

3. Bear Necessities, 7-6 (4, ^1): I'm not sure this side has dropped outside of the top 5 all season long. Another contender for the comeback award, Bear Necessities is also but one win away from potentially making playoffs. The side has been battered and bruised, and I'm not sure what state they'll be in come Week 15, but the look good for Week 14.

4. IKNAN, 7-6 (6, ^2): After a mythically bad week this team is rebounding, and is now in prime position to lock up the division. They posted the best score of the season for far, and could charge into the playoffs. While I am still worried this team is a bit hot and cold, I'm not counting out a team fresh off a 160 point outing.

5. ADRZ, 10-3 (5, =): In a week where every team seemed to have a good week, let's not make too much of a deal out of ADRZs nice week. Especially when one third of their points was Blake Bortles. This team hasn't been the same over the last month, and I have serious worries about their playoff chances. But they'll be there, so who knows?

6. Burdettinators, 6-7 (9, ^3): I am a man of my word. I said I wanted to see one more good week by Coach Burdett' side before I bought in, and that's exactly what they did. Unfortunately it wasn't enough, and they're out of the playoff race. Still, this late season rejuvenation won't be for nothing, they can still earn a good draft pick out of it.

7. The Tuckfards, 6-7 (2, v5): At this stage of the season, it's odd for a team to fall so far so quickly. This team had a decent week, but they cleaned shop and now one of their key RBs is potentially lost for the season. I'm not going to count this coach out as he's a coaching maven, but I'll think he'd even agree he's working with less than he's accustomed to.

8. Gridiron Gang, 7-6 (7, v1): This team has had a brutal second half of the season. They had an ok week last week, but they're gonna need a win and some help to make playoffs. They've got some nice assets, but the consistency just isn't there right now, and without that is going to make getting any more wins mightily difficult.

9. Patistan, 5-8 (11, ^2): Ok so this team didn't get the win last week, but they've been having a sneakily good run of late. They're having a strong end to the season, which suggests they might have worked through their rookie teething problems. The roster is looking much better, and they should be poised to have a nice finish.

10. Forge Flyers, 3-10 (8, v2): This team has definitely been better than the record indicates this season, but the last few weeks they haven't been great. They've got the players, but as has been the case for all the season, Lady Luck has not smiled on them. I'd really like to see this team not lose the James Milner Bowl 2 years straight, but they're gonna need a touch of magic.

11. The Romosexuals, 6-7 (12, ^1): I called it last week, if this coach doesn't coach his team he doesn't stand a chance. Well that's exactly what happened. He coached his team, had a nice week, and got the W. Unfortunately they're all but out of the power race, but if this coach continues to manage the team, they should finish strong.

12. Jeff's Seals, 6-7 (10, v2): So they didn't have the worse week, but in a week where everyone went bonkers they were left doing what they usually average. This roster is just depleted. For a long time it looked like they might sneak a win, but this loss puts the nail in the coffin, and this team is done. We look forward to a new coach next year.



Tuesday 8 December 2015

LOC Playoffs: Week 14

Well I predicted it, this week is just as messed up as all the others, but hey at least we’ve got some statistics to bring a little order to the world. We also have a clear outline of the possible outcomes to the games we face which helps to give us some clarity of thought! So without further ado, here are the odds:

ADRZ – 100% (100%, 100%, 98.68%, 97%)
Dream Team – 85.80% (32.92%, 59.56%, 69.76%, 85.24%)
IKNAN – 76.04% (28.16%, 77.00%, 33.32%, 56.76%)
Bear Necessities – 60.44% (52.20%, 7.16%, 36.92%, 22%)
Tom's Tyrants – 48.72% (35.52%, 5.28%, 2,68%, 1.44%)
Gridiron Gang – 25.20% (71.36%, 43.48%, 45.52%, 38.12%)
Tuckfards – 8.32% (40.80%, 60.88%, 71.76%, 61.36%)
Jeff's Seals – 0% (23.64%, 38.44%, 37.84%, 27%)
Burdettinators – 0% (15.64%, 4.88%, 0.52%, 3.32%)
Romosexuals – 0% (0%, 4.52%, 0.80%, 4.6%)
Forge Flyers – 0% (0%, 0.00%, 0%, 0.96%)
Patistan – 0% (0%, 0.00%, 0%, 0.2%)

There were some truly catastrophic losses this week, namely for the Burdettinators and the Tuckfards. Although both were in with a shot at the playoffs just last week, they were both dealt painful blows knocking the Burdettinators out of the running and putting the Tuckfards at the mercy of other divisional games. The Dream Team had a very important victory in their division meaning that they will at least draw for the top spot of their division. This will make the battle for the Southampton division even more exciting than before. Finally, IKNAN repeated their turnaround from week 11 and clawed their way back from the brink of disaster to remain contenders for the Winchester division. They also managed to put up the most points of any team this season which makes the race for wildcard spot even more exciting.

So here’s a quick round up of potential outcomes from week 14’s future frivolities.

If IKNAN wins and scores 8 points more than the Tuckfards, then they are guaranteed a playoff spot.

If the Gridiron Gang beats the Tuckfards then they will have a shot at the playoffs but will need IKNAN to lose due to IKNAN’s point advantage (and other teams in the running for wildcard spot will likely beat them out in terms of points).

The Tuckfards need IKNAN and Gridiron Gang to lose and they also need to score at least 8 points more than IKNAN to be guaranteed a spot. They could also qualify if they beat the Gridiron Gang and score 4 more points than the Bear Necessities which would secure them a wildcard spot.

ADRZ needs to do absolutely nothing, so time to grab a beer and some popcorn Nigel because it’s going to be an exciting week.

The Dream Team need to win their match against the Bear Necessities to be guaranteed a spot but may also be in with a chance depending on the outcomes of other games (namely the Winchester games and their other divisional match).

The Bear Necessities need to beat the Dream Team and also maintain their 17-point lead in the division in order to come out on top. If they don’t manage that they will need a nice healthy score to qualify for the wildcard spot, beating their competitor by at least 20 points to be safe. A loss will also put them in danger of losing out completely to Tom’s Tyrants.

Tom’s Tyrants need to beat the Burdettinators and outscore the rest of their division including the Bear Necessities and the Dream Team. Again the outcome will be highly dependent on the results of the other games but a win could put them into close contention for the wildcard spot or even the top spot (if they can outscore the Bear Necessities by 17 points).

For everyone else, you can look forward to your various “bowls” and revel in the thought that it’s only 9 months till the next season rolls around. Jeff’s Seals notably fell out of the running this week and according to the stats the Tuckfards had no chance of qualifying (despite this not being true). So although it has been a tumultuous week again, almost everyone is still in the running in some form or another. Hopefully my run down will elucidate all the luck you will need to qualify for the playoffs and the odds this week are fairly unimportant since so many things need to fall into place for every team. I look forward to the results, as much as everyone else so return next week for an intense look at the playoff line ups with statistical analysis of the consistency of each team and all the fun of the fair.


Team Ambassador’s Weekly Tip

With the holidays coming up why not send a parcel of glitter to the bastard who knocked you out of the playoffs race? You can send it to your shit for brains receiver, your fantasy opponent or the NFL commissioner for allowing all the bollocks of this year to continue (I mean come on, do something about the injuries man!) Tis the season to send hate mail so why not join in today and remember, always do it with respect/begrudging hatred.


Thursday 3 December 2015

2015: 6-6-6 DEVILS NUMBER

So, in case you don't get the reference in the title, there are SIX teams at SIX and SIX...6-6-6? Yeah, it's clever isn't it?...Anyway, Coach Sherwood joins Commissioner Stubbs to take a look at last weeks' LOC action. We're 2 weeks away from the end of the regular season, and the playoff race is still wide open. This week is pivotal though, as after this week some teams will struggle to make playoffs if they lose.

EDOTLOCCA's Corner: Week 13

Call off the search parties, return your flags to full mast, your EDOTLOCCA has returned! I would like to say that I have been on a spiritual journey in to the depths of the fantasy unknown, furthering this already (potentially) award winning series of analytical gems, however I have not. To be quite honest I have no good excuses, I have just been otherwise engaged, I hope that you, my oh so dedicated following, have not found a new source of fantasy football holy script (for instance a certain numerical based study that has thrived in my absence)! Anyway, you aren’t here for excuses or apologies or pleas of faith, you are here because we all love fantasy football and because (un)official scientific studies have proven a direct link to reading EDOTLOCCA’s Corner and making the fantasy playoffs! Read on people!

Coaches Award

3 Weeks is a long time in fantasy football, in that time we have had teams fall into the abyss of mathematical impossibility and equally ADRZ breaking out the hammock and relaxing whilst us peasants squabble for the three remaining playoff spots. Every time someone looks like they have an edge, they lose it, and so here we find ourselves almost entirely edgeless… or spherical… or geometry and stuff. With all that has gone on picking a Coaches Award winner should have been hard, but accounting for the 3 week period, with special emphasis of Week 12, one team has really set about on changing their fortunes. Coach Burdett has somehow, somehow, saved a playoff dream and he cemented it last week with a heroic victory over his closest rival. What makes it more impressive is the collection of waiver wire starlets that contributed to the triumph – Wilson, McFadden, Aiken, Harris, Watson….. Well done indeed!

Wooden Spoon

You know what I was saying about losing an edge as soon as you had one? Well, last week Coach Merritt could have all but secured playoffs based on his record and points scored, but leaving 94.7 points on the bench is not a way to go about that. Don’t get me wrong, he put up a great score, but at this point in the season losses like this really hurt, especially when you see Antonio Andrews favoured over the 3rd draft pick T.Y. Hilton.

Bold Predictions

I nearly didn’t bother to check, I really didn’t want to, however, we have had a third correct prediction on the season! Fermenting since Week 9, only increasing in stature, Drew Brees tore Gridiron Gang a new one and earned himself another golden ticket, an invitation to EDOTLOCCA’s Corner’s Christmas party – the guest list is growing! And now, fuelled with new found high spirits I will tell you exactly what will happen in Week 13!

Patistan vs. The Dream Team: This game will be closer than league position dictates, Patistan have had some nice games lately and the key could be two MVP contenders. Dalton has a nice matchup but The Rams pose a threat to Palmer, he throws 3 INTs and puts The Dreams Team’s hopes in jeopardy.

The Romosexuals vs. Burdettinators: Possibly the two most unpredictable teams at this point (good sign) and one of them is currently starting their flagship QB despite desperation being the only thing keeping him off of IR (even better). Well, for the second week in a row, the Burdettinators find themselves in a game decided by a single point.

The Tuckfards vs. Bear Necessities: Gary Barnidge vs. Scott Chandler – the names at the top of every draft board, and we finally see them face off! Well, they completely disappoint, 3 catches for less than 50 yards between them.

Gridiron Gang vs. ADRZ: These two teams are arguably in the strongest positions, yet with Brady’s WR corps and ADRZ’s injuries are the wheels starting to come off? Both these teams continue to defy all odds and, in a game we could see again in weeks 15/16, 8 combined rushing TDs are scored.

IKNAN vs. Forge Flyers: There are two reasons for this prediction: a) Fantastic matchups b) Forge Flyers horrific luck – IKNAN put up the highest score of the season beating the 153.6 ADRZ scored in Week 3.

Tom’s Tyrants vs. Jeff’s Seals: Oh the curse of the auto-team, how are they such an intimidating opponent? This game goes close, very close, but Dez finally turns up to snatch it for The Tyrants with a 20 point performance on Monday night.


Right, there they are, we shall see if I am rusty after my leave of absence! What would be really bold is to predict the playoff teams, but I’m not setting myself up for that failure! Anyway, as we reach this crucial point of the season, good luck to everyone! And it is good to be back! Until next time, Turrah!


Wednesday 2 December 2015

Power Rankings: Week 13

On your marks, get set...go! That's essentially what the playoff is right now. We weren't ever going to get a team clinching a playoff spot this week, but we have 2 teams that can now do as such. There are six teams (SIX!) on 6-6 (devils number alert), that's half the league. There are 8 teams contending for 3 playoff spots. So...yeah, wish me luck with what you're about to read.

Power Rankings

1. The Dream Team, 7-5 (1, =): This team hasn't shown the same explosion the last couple of weeks that we've seen from before, but that doesn't matter. This team just seems to have a very high floor, and Coach Nathwani is having perhaps his finest season yet. There isn't one position in the starting lineup where they are week, and they have capable depth. They can also clinch this week if everyone in their division loses.

2. The Tuckfards, 6-6 (5, ^3): All week long this coach ran his mouth about being undefeated in the regular season against Burdettinators, and the karmic gods acted accordingly. They lost by one point in a dramatic Monday night comeback. Still, they posted 121 points. They have a nice floor, and if one of their players goes off they'll have a great week.

3. Tom's Tyrants, 6-6 (6, ^3): Once again this coach turned in another impressive performance. Coach Barnes has become the new king of the comeback, and they're firmly back in the playoff race. With a relatively soft schedule left, the likelihood of them winning out is good. For the second year straight, if they make Week 15, they'll probably be the favourite to win it all.

4. Bear Necessities, 6-6 (2, v2): This team has been trending in the wrong direction for a couple of weeks now, and the injuries are piling up. Be that as it may, they still got the W and posted 100 points last week. They're still a good team, but I think they've fallen out of the running right now for the best. Teams will hope they don't make the playoffs, as that's when they're likely to be their healthiest.

5. ADRZ, 9-3 (4, v1): As the season rolls on, this team is getting weaker much like The Dream Team did last season. The injuries are piling up, and key players are faltering a little. I'm not going to move them down much right now due to what we've seen them do, but they need to fix their issues. Perhaps they can pull a 2009 New Orleans Saints, who struggled at the end of the regular season, but caught fire in the playoffs.

6. IKNAN, 6-6 (3, v3): A week after I thought IKNAN were rounding in to form and charging to the playoffs...the team choked, there's no other way of describing it. They had some bad match ups though, and key players just didn't turn up. Look for them to rebound next week, but the points they lost this week could cost them dearly come Week 15.

7. Gridiron Gang, 7-5 (7, =): A week after the Coach N. Stubbs' side posted their second worst score of the season, they bounce back with a crucial win. They have some nice players and some how always manage to turn in good outings. If IKNAN and The Tuckfards both lose this week and they win, they can clinch the division.

8. Forge Flyers, 3-9 (9, ^1): After how this teams Thanksgiving day went they looked on course for another W, but a cruel Sunday dashed any hopes of that. Add it to the list of tough losses to take for Coach Leach this season. Now they can just focus on not losing the James Milner bowl again - which I think they'll accomplish with ease.

9. Burdettinators, 6-6 (10, ^1): This is the first time in a long time Coach Burdett has been in the single digits. After that morbid week, they've strung together two nice wins (also damn you for taking away my favourite line "they've only beat The Tuckfards once but it was the one that mattered). Still, old habits die hard and they face a tall order to make playoffs.

10. Jeff's Seals, 6-6 (12, ^2): This teams consistency is off the charts. I mean, for real? No Edelman, no Bell, Rodgers has a down day, and they STILL put up 90 points. They seem to be a safe bet for around 80-90 every week, which may get them another win. They arguably have the worst starting lineup in the league, but if it ain't broke...

11. Patistan, 5-7 (11, =): We've been a little hard on Coach Allen this season, as he's quietly had a nice year for a rookie coach. An underrated draft and some shrewd trades and waiver moves have given them some very nice pieces. They're not going to light up the scoreboard, but they should have an ok week which can be enough to get the upset like they did last week.

12. The Romosexuals, 5-7 (8, v4): Some of you may be surprised to see this team bottom, but I think it's justified. I said a few weeks back this team has great potential if Coach Nunn does his job, but he's pulling a classic Coach Sherwood right now. It's not the best roster and they don't stand a chance without a coach.



Tuesday 1 December 2015

LOC Playoffs: Week 13

What are the odds of a stable week?
What a crazy week, yet again, in the LOC. The Burdettinators beat the Tuckfards to bring them into the playoffs race, Patistan beat IKNAN who put in their worst game of the season by far and Tom’s Tyrants extended their bid for the playoffs with another clean victory, this time over the Forge Flyers. So things look a little different from last week but at this point, that won’t surprise anyone! Here are the odds going into week 13:

ADRZ – 100% (100%, 98.68%, 97%)
Gridiron Gang – 71.36% (43.48%, 45.52%, 38.12%)
Bear Necessities – 52.20% (7.16%, 36.92%, 22%)
Tuckfards – 40.80% (60.88%, 71.76%, 61.36%)
Tom's Tyrants – 35.52% (5.28%, 2,68%, 1.44%)
Dream Team – 32.92% (59.56%, 69.76%, 85.24%)
IKNAN – 28.16% (77.00%, 33.32%, 56.76%)
Jeff's Seals – 23.64% (38.44%, 37.84%, 27%)
Burdettinators – 15.64% (4.88%, 0.52%, 3.32%)
Romosexuals – 0% (4.52%, 0.80%, 4.6%)
Forge Flyers – 0% (0.00%, 0%, 0.96%)
Patistan – 0% (0.00%, 0%, 0.2%)

Some things haven’t changed, so despite Pat’s heroic win it’s still a 0% chance of him making it to the playoffs. ADRZ still rule the roost despite a loss to Bear Necessities this week and sadly the Romosexual’s have joined the ranks of those out of the running. In contention are a whopping 6 teams all with a record of 6-6. That means that all the injustice surrounding wins vs. scoring will now be fixed as points will become a lynch pin of any team’s bid for the playoffs.

The Bear Necessities will be pleased to see their odds rise from 7% to 52%, largely due to their points scored whilst the Burdettinators must finish top of their division to qualify (since they have the 11th worst scoring record in the league). The Winchester division is a shit show as per usual, with the Tuckfards losing out to the Burdettinators and IKNAN losing to Patistan leaving them both 1 game behind the Gridiron Gang. It will therefore be a mad rush to the finish as expected and as of now IKNAN needs the Tuckfards to win the division or lose outright in order to be in with a shot at the playoffs (since the Tuckfards have the second best scoring record).

Elsewhere, in the Southampton division we see an even tighter race with the Dream Team ahead by 1 win and every other team at 6-6. Tom’s Tyrants seem to be attempting a repeat of last year’s antics although they too will be hoping that Bear Necessities either wins the division or crashes out, since BN leads the league in points scored. One thing is for sure, week 14 will be extremely tense as we will see the divisions battle it out for those scarce playoff spots.

Finally, in the Portsmouth division we see a lot less excitement. ADRZ will come top of that league and Jeff’s Seals will need a lot of things to go their way to secure a playoff spot (since they are 9th in points overall as of now). However, as we have seen in the last 2 weeks, the results have been so unpredictable that Jeff’s Seals may still be in with a chance as long as they can take down Tom’s Tyrants this week (followed by their relatively easy matchup in week 14 against Patistan).

So the season continues to rage on, with upsets galore and some truly heroic turnarounds from Tom’s Tyrants and Burdettinators. My prediction for the playoffs lineup as of now is ADRZ, Bear Necessities, the Gridiron Gang and Tom’s Tyrants but it will certainly come down to the wire and I expect to be telling a very different story next week!

Team Ambassador’s Tip of the Week
In order to boost team performance, consider tweeting encouraging messages to your fantasy players in order to foster self-belief. Give advice to the QBs on who to pass to during the game and give helpful tips on how to catch a fucking ball to your more volatile players. If that doesn’t work, shift into sabotage mode and tweet unhelpful tips and advice to your opponent’s players such as “why bother playing football when your wife is cheating on you with me” and “do a backflip over the line it will increase your Madden rating”. Remember everyone, you have the power to make your fantasy dreams come true.


Friday 27 November 2015

2015: What the hell is happening?

We're 3 games from the end of the regular season, and there are 9 teams on 5-6 or 6-5. Two divisions are either 5-6 or 6-5. The LOC playoff race is as wide open as it has ever been. We genuinely have no idea who will make playoffs (other than one team). Coach Merritt and Commissioner Stubbs put their heads together to figure out what will happen and what teams have a shot at the playoffs.

Wednesday 25 November 2015

Power Rankings: Week 12

The LOC has descended into anarchy. I'm not even going to make an attempt at explaining how close the playoff race is right now - it's pretty close. What's even worse is the power has seemingly shifted all over the place as well, and right now it's anyone's game. Anyway, let's see if I can make sense of it

Power Rankings

1. The Dream Team, 6-5 (2, ^1): In a week where near every team was terrible, The Dream Team had one of few good performances. Unfortunately for them however, it wasn't enough to get the win. They've got a very good team with a high floor, albeit maybe with a lack of explosion. But they're pretty solid, and should stay that way.

2. Bear Necessities, 5-6 (1, v1): It's hard to base anything off of last week, but the injuries appear to be catching up with this team. This isn't the first time they've had a shot to close ground on The Dream Team, and they blew it. While they remain high now, the lack of steam could cause them to move down swiftly. They're in must win mode.

3. IKNAN, 6-5 (5, ^2): IKNAN absolutely had to win last week, and they absolutely did. Another team that has the consistency factor, they're doing a tremendous job despite the lack of RB production. They're finally getting the signal caller right on a consistent basis, and it's showing. As long as this team can keep it up, they seem destined to make the playoffs.

4. ADRZ, 9-2 (3, v1): Look we know how consistent this team is, but even last week they showed they weren't as consistent as some other teams. Their whole game is coming consistency, but they're not going to blow up the scoreboard. With the state of the LOC the way it is, they're one of the better teams. But are they among the best? Well, I'll let you make that decision yourself.

5. The Tuckfards, 6-5 (4, v1): Does The Tuckfards possibly have a bogey team? This team is one of the better teams of the league, but in very non-Tuckfards fashion they haven't shown the same killer instinct that they've displayed in the last few seasons. I do actually like this team, they've got some nice pieces in place, and it's more probable than not they make the playoffs.

6. Tom's Tyrants, 5-6 (7, ^1): This team is the king of late season revivals, and if they somehow reach the playoffs they'll probably earn another comeback award. This team is getting healthy, the coach is getting thrifty, and history could possibly be repeating itself. They'll need some games to fall their way (as before), but you can't count them out.

7. Gridiron Gang, 6-5 (6, v1): This team was 5-1 at one point. Just a torrid second half of the season. A combination of slim pickings on free agency and players slowing down has caused a grid-lock. What's worse is this teams gem, Tom Brady, is also slowing down. This coach has pulled off some incredible things before, and they'll likely need to do the same again.

8. The Romosexuals, 5-6 (8, =): This team is still in the playoff hunt, but they'll be hard pressed to do any more than that. The team has been so hot and cold all season - don't get me wrong, their hots have been pretty damn hot, but their colds have also been pretty cold. Realistically they'd probably need to win all 3 games, and I don't see it happening.

9. Forge Flyers, 3-8 (9, =): This team is a surprising last place for the second year running. Last year it was warranted, this year not so much. Almost certainly going to the James Milner Bowl bracket, it would surprised me if they played in the James Milner Bowl itself. They're a good team, and they'll pick up a win or two down the stretch.

10. Burdettinators, 5-6 (12, ^2): Maybe all it took was hitting rock bottom to get this team going? This team has had morbidly bad weeks, yet they find themselves in the playoff race still. Like The Romosexuals, they need to win all 3 games realistically to give themselves a chance, and based on the season so far....yeah, you know what I'm gonna say...

11. Patistan, 4-7 (11, =): So, I've defended this team for the most part of the season, and although they haven't been good, I've always thought they could get a win on their day. They did last week, but they got VERY lucky. Now that the coaches focus has gone elsewhere, I've lost faith in this team, and if it doesn't change, they'll be bottom next week.

12. Jeff's Seals, 6-5 (10, v2): Yeah, turns out losing Bell, Edelman, and not having Jeffrey crippled this team - who knew? If Jeffrey, Cooper and Rodgers don't light it up, this team is rarely going to have a chance. When one of those is in and out of the lineup, it's even harder. They are the worst 6-5 by a wide margin, and it would be a minor miracle if they made playoffs.






Wednesday 18 November 2015

2015: Guess who's back

The prodigal sons have returned! Well...The LOC Report is back after a brief 1 week hiatus. But to make up for our impromptu absence, we have an incredible show lined up for you. Commissioner Stubbs is joined once again by Coach Sherwood of IKNAN, but this episode also has its own place in history, as head coach of ADRZ, Nigel Wells, makes his first ever appearance on the LOC Report. Are you as excited as I am?

Tuesday 17 November 2015

Power Rankings: Week 11

Apologies for the week absence, coursework was consuming my life! But hey, now you'll appreciate this edition of the power rankings that much more. We're getting closer and closer to the end of the regular season. With only 4 games to go, it's still all to play for. Where does the power lay in the LOC? you're about to find out.

Power Rankings

1. Bear Necessities, 5-5 (1, =): Despite the injuries starting to pile up, this team still remains in fine form. They dropped a game last week, but they won a crucial divisional game this week. However, they were somewhat fortunate with their QB output and this can't be relied on week to week. Be that as it may, the approach I have taken all season is 'you stay where you are until you prove me otherwise'.

2. The Dream Team, 6-4 (2, =): And that statement rings true for these guys too. Ok, it was an average week from them last week, but they've been ballin' up until now. This roster is formidable right now, and they've really got a great shot at an attempt to bring home the title after coming so close last season. They just have to keep it going.

3. ADRZ, 8-2 (3, =): Look, they haven't been explosive since they lost Charles, but they are consistently getting it done. They've not dipped below 80 all season, and they continue to churn in good scores. They actually have an under the radar important match up this week against Jeff's Seals, as they still haven't quite sealed up the division (but for all purposes, they basically have).

4. The Tuckfards, 6-4 (5, ^1): The Tuckfards is leading the division for the first time this season. It's surprising it took until Week 11 to say this for a team that is accustomed to being at the top. They came up with a clutch win to take division supremacy last week, and they're patching the roster together nicely. One of the most underrated teams in the league this year, by the sum of their parts and the whole.

5. IKNAN, 5-5 (6, ^1): Much like IKNAN, they've not looked the same since losing their star RB. That being said, they've still been very good. VERY good. They dropped an important game last week, and have gone from 1st to 3rd in the division. They have an absolutely critical game this week. They've got problems, but they've also got superstars. They're still a force to be reckoned with.

6. Gridiron Gang, 6-4 (4, v2): This team has been a model of consistency since week 4, they've not dipped below 90 once. However, they've also only gone above 100 3 times in that span too. They are a good team, and their WR corps is emerging. They haven't got the fire power that is needed to dominate, but they're going to find themselves competing in nearly every game.

7. Tom's Tyrants, 4-6 (9, ^2): I was right to be wary about putting the fork in this team. It's uncanny a team that had just 2 wins 2 weeks ago is still in contention, but they're only 2 games behind the division and the wildcard right now. It's like this team had to bottom out to really get going. Now their QB problem is solved, they are hitting their stride at the right time.

8. The Romosexuals, 4-6 (8, =): In the last 5 weeks, this team has only topped 90 points once. They have been the true definition of boom and bust. But, with start QB Tony Romo returning, that may change soon. They've been without Forte and Hyde as well. This team has the potential to explode over the next few weeks - but will the coach make it happen?

9. Forge Flyers, 3-7 (7, v2): After an early season renaissance the wins just haven't come together this season. They've been inconsistent lately, but this team is stacked. The name value and potential is eye watering. At this point, I'm willing to say this season hasn't been on this coach. They've been better than the W column indicates. But they are forked.

10. Jeff's Seals, 6-4 (11, ^1): I can't believe this team is on a 3 game win streak. They actually have a wildcard record right now. I would be shocked if this team made the playoffs though, despite their current position. This roster is bad. They've just lost Edelman, and they only have 3 players who will consistently generate points.

11. Patistan, 3-7 (12, ^1): I can't remember if they'd been forked already, but they are now. 3-7 would be tough to come back from for any team at this stage, but Patistan don't have the resources to compete with the LOC's finest. They've got some nice pieces, and I think they'll be able to do enough to avoid the James Milner Bowl.

12. Burdettinators, 4-6 (10, v2): What happened? This team has only won one in the last 6. It's not pretty, they've topped 100 points just once in that span, and scored below 75 FOUR times. The bottom fell out last week, with 39 points. It's a sad ending to what looked like a promising season, and the fork is in them. Can they avoid the James Milner Bowl?



Friday 6 November 2015

2015: The Cutlery is Coming Out!

We're getting closer and closer to the end of the regular season, and you know what that means....STICK A FORK IN THEM, THEY'RE DONE!! The cutlery is coming out of the draw, and teams seasons are going to be announced as done. Commissioner Stubbs is aided in his endeavor to fork by Coach Merritt of The Tuckfards and Coach Nathwani of The Dream Team.

Thursday 5 November 2015

EDOTLOCCA's Corner: Week 9

Hello one and all! Well, as happens seemingly sooner and sooner each year, our Commissioner is prising open his cutlery draw and threatening various franchises with his array of sharply-pronged metaphors. I for one currently take my trusty metal detector with me everywhere I go, guarding me against any potential ambushes. But, as is unavoidable in the brutally competitive LOC, we are at the part of the season where teams enter the last chance saloon, edge of the seat stuff from here on out boys! Anyway, this article is 100% fork-free (prepare for some spoons however), so let us dive in to my latest fantasy thoughts, it's Week 9 and here is your EDOTLOCCA's Corner (that's 'Executive Director of the League of Champions Coaches Association')!

Coaches Award

Speaking of cutlery, in Week 8 a Coach who has previously dabbled with the Wooden Spoon (multiple times), attempted to redeem themselves somewhat. They have previously struggled with an internal QB competition, but this week they nailed it, and it really did matter. Coach Sherwood went with Rivers this week, who outscored his teammate Newton by 8.02 points, IKNAN won by 6.4 points. Small margins. This decision clearly won IKNAN the match, and for that reason it may have been enough for the Coaches Award, but the importance of the match cannot be overlooked either. This win not only made the most competitive division in the LOC even closer, but it also propelled Coach Sherwood’s team to the top of it. Come December, this victory could well go down as one of the most important of the season. Well-deserved commendation indeed.

Wooden Spoon

I have been moaning about this for a while now – and as proved by last week and another near 50 point defeat, I clearly haven’t been contributing – these awards don’t work when we have no close games people! We need a division of wealth, if everyone scored between 90 and 105 each week, these awards would run as smoothly as silk, but no! Last week, maths bailed me out, but this week we have had no such luck. There were no costly decisions, if you lost this week it was because you couldn’t win, shame on you (us). For this reason, in an unprecedented occurrence, there will be no Wooden Spoon this week, I am depriving you all of it. Let it be a lesson, improve or I will not be able to call out one of you for poor coaching.

Bold Predictions

Light the beacons! Sound the horn! Ring the bells! We’re all getting laid tonight! Well no, well maybe? I don’t know, why would I? Anyway, it is far better than that, we have another correct bold prediction! Stefon Diggs played his little heart out and outscored Rodgers and Bell and for that, I will be eternally grateful. Stefon, when you undoubtedly read this, you have been officially invited to the EDOTLOCCA’s Corner Xmas Party, please RSVP ASAP. Well, let’s not get cocky, I think a reasonable expectation this week would be 4 correct predictions, let’s do this.

Gridiron Gang vs. The Dream Team: Two teams with one eye on the playoffs here, but all I can focus on is Gridiron Gang’s RB matchups, ouch! Without Hopkins as well, can Brady do it all on his own? Not with Brees partying like it’s 2009, another 35+ QB performance from The Dream Team.

IKNAN vs. Burdettinators: Who would have thought Peyton Manning would end up as a bye week replacement? Wow. Well, this is a good week to have him in, he lights up the Colts for 30 points, unfortunately for Burdettinators, Thomas catches a couple of those TDs, negating their advantage.

Jeff’s Seals vs. Bear Necessities: It is no secret that Luck has been disappointing, but I love Coach Stubbs Sr.’s decision to turn to Mr. reliable himself. Well, the matchup is golden and I see Cutler outscoring opponent and divisional rival Rodgers here. And yes, that is bold.

The Tuckfards vs. ADRZ: After losing another starter, surely ADRZ must start slowing down? Nope, I just can’t see it, they have been too impressive this year. This game just has big scorer written all over it, I am saying 125+ each. But who is going to win? Well it has to be ADRZ…. no…. The Tuckfards…. no…. errrrr, I’ll tell you next week.

The Romosexuals vs. Forge Flyers: Byes and injuries for The Romosexuals, just as their season is reaching its critical point. What an opportunity for Forge Flyers to climb off the (familiar) foot of the league. And we have a Beckham off, fantastic. Well, Odell and Dorial combine for 30 points, then David scores a curling free kick in stoppage time.

Tom’s Tyrants vs. Patistan: Did Coach Allen keep the correct QB? We will find out this week. Two great matchups and the QBs combine for 50 points, and the winner could save themselves from the Milner Bowl.


Well, spirits were high after last week’s correct prediction, hopefully some of that positivity translates to more results! In the meantime, the LOC is just starting to sizzle nicely, what a time to be alive! Enjoy the coming week and good luck everyone! Turrah!


Wednesday 4 November 2015

Power Rankings: Week 9

As we head into Week 9, you get the strong sense around the league that crunch time is approaching - and fast. While one division continues to divide, the other 2 are looking closer every week. What do the power rankings make of it all? You're about to find out...

Power Rankings

1. Bear Necessities, 4-4 (1, =): After another great week, this team has done absolutely nothing to convince me they should be removed from the number 1 spot. Quite frankly, unless an injury strikes, I can't see anything that will remove this team from number 1. The only thing that might keep this team out of the playoffs is a few dropped games like the start of the season.

2. The Dream Team, 5-3 (5, ^3): Just another strong week from the resurgent Dream Team. Look, this team isn't bullet proof, but make no mistake they are very good. Currently holding the top spot in the division, they're definitely going to struggle to stave off Bear Necessities, but I think they've got just enough to do it.

3. ADRZ, 7-1 (7, ^4): I moved this team down after a somewhat disappointing week, as I thought they were feeling the effect of losing Charles. I think this team is going to be just fine. They've basically locked up the division, and they've done enough to make me think they're as good as they were with Charles. The loss of Smitty stings though.

4. Gridiron Gang, 5-3 (2, v2): This team had a real opportunity to establish themselves the past two weeks, and they lost both games by a combined 14 points. As a result, they're in a dog fight, of which they're no longer top dog. They've got some great core pieces, but there are chinks in the teams armour, and they're far from a sure fire bet for playoffs.

5. The Tuckfards, 4-4 (3, v2): The first disappointing week in a while for this team, and I get the sense their early season struggles might start to resurface. I think they're a good team, don't get confused on that point, but I'm just not sure they're going to be able to go toe to toe every week with some other teams in the league. But this coach will probably (annoyingly) find a way.

6. IKNAN, 5-3 (4, v2): The first week post Foster and they're more or less what they were pre Foster. Foster really added another dimension to this team, and I think their juice had just been zapped a little. The RBs are going to give this team fits every week, but I'm confident the rest of the lineup can compensate. Kind of the same situation as The Tuckfards, they're competitive, but not a giant.

7. Forge Flyers, 2-6 (6, v1): Hmm. The first disappointing week in a while for the Forge. Before we tear them apart for a 66 point week, Brown was active but didn't play, Tannehill s*** the bed, and the rest of the roster just had a flat week. While I definitely think better weeks are ahead for this team, it's not a top tier side, and the 6 wins at this stage are crippling. At risk of being a bit early, the cutlery is coming out. Stick the fork in them for 2015.

8. The Romosexuals, 4-4 (9, ^1): You might be scratching your head a bit at this one. This team had a tremendous week, I'm aware, but last time I moved the, up following a good week, they proceeded to reinforce what I was worried about in the first place. Fool me once and all that. They have a very nice side, but I don't think they have the consistency.

9. Tom's Tyrants, 2-6 (8, v1): After a resurgent couple of weeks that now feel like a distant memory, this team has really trailed off the past few weeks. I...I don't know what to make of this team. While a change of QB could breath new life into this team, I think their problems go further than that. That being said, with Dez coming back, they could have a turnaround. But with 6 in the loss column, the fork may drop next week.

10. Burdettinators, 3-5 (12, ^2): Wahey! There's life on Mars! Sorry I mean Burdettinators, but you get it. After 3 weeks in the wilderness this team finely returned. They returned bloody, dirty and a little bit scruffy looking (they got 88 points is what I'm getting at). I still want to believe they can't get something going, but I don't see them making an appearance in the playoffs.

11. Jeff's Seals, 4-4 (10, v1): The plane on autopilot continues to chug along an comically finds themselves at 4-4 and in the playoff hunt. But I'll go short of saying they have a shot to make it. Had this team not lost Bell, I may think differently, but that's the straw that broke the camels back, and don't be surprised if the L's start to pile up.

12. Patistan, 3-5 (11, v1): Oh boy, just as this team started to look like it might be putting something nice together, the floor fell through. But don't fret, better times are ahead. Dalton, Woodhead and Cobb will all have better weeks. But this team did lose one of their cornerstones in Keenan Allen (no relation). I want to see them for one more week, but the fork is perilously close.