Fuck this game. That’s your power rankings this week, goodbye everyone. Oh, I’m contractually obliged to write these? Ugh, fine then. A season injury didn’t have potentially a season altering effect to the playoffs for just one team this week, oh no in fact it impacted two teams. If you couldn’t tell, mine being one of them - happy fucking birthday to me. Anyway it’s week 14 blah blah blah some shit about playoffs nearly here and a race, let’s get on with it.
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12. Bear Necessities (3-10) - down 3: If I was an authoritarian commissioner this team would already be a draft pick or two lighter in next years draft - you have the committee to thank for this team retaining all its draft picks. The team isn’t bad, I’d actually go so far as to say the whole roster is on balance good - but no management leaves them as a rudderless ghost ship with a 9 game losing streak - you can bet they’ll be starting brown on a bye this week, so they’re bottom of the pile for me.
11. Tom’s Tyrants (4-9) - no change: It was a bold and understandable call to bench Kupp last week, and whilst it was ultimately not the right decision it wouldn’t have changed much as the struggles this team face go far beyond that. Thin on talent with their best players across the season now sputtering and banged up, Coach Barnes will be glad it is week 14 to say the least, as this team would probably only just out score the Patriots (they’d still beat them, of course).
10. Art Attack (4-9) - up 2: TE FC puts up another decent performance despite the losses they’ve suffered of late, but their wings are still clipped and they are heavily reliant on Prescott. Higgins return was a positive one, but his impact is going to be minimal with Browning at the helm. They have one more chance to play berserker in week 14, but for as good as the tight ends they possess are, they just don’t carry the same threat as much of the players on other teams across the league.
9. Forge Flyers (5-8) - down 3: Coach Leach has been on a nice little run of late, but facing a team lower then them on this week spares their blushes last week. I will caution injury was partly to blame for a bad outing, as well as a rare bad showing from the cowboys D. They should bounce back, but they’ll do so without Stevenson and a Ridley now facing an immediate future without Lawrence. Those 2 have been a part of the resurgence they’ve had over the last month, so their absence is enough to drop this team a few spots.
8. IKSAN (7-6) - down 1: Brutal. Just brutal. Coach Sherwood has been a must win merchant this year, avoiding losses to keep their playoff hopes alive time after time. They were in position to potentially do it again last week, but an injury to Christian Kirk on MNF robbed them of that, and barring something truly spectacular their playoff hopes are all but dead. The fact they’ve been in a position to need multiple must win games sort of tells you what you need to know however - this team is just ok with Evans being the only shining star, Mahomes and Ekeler have been dim stars, and beyond that are just complimentary pieces.
7. Buccing The Trend (3-10) - up 3: Coach Taylor’s side moves up from a combination of them looking a little better, and others heading in the other direction. Miraculously no longer stand-alone last place, they could actually find themselves not even finishing in the bottom 3. They need Tua to actually score some TDs in a given week, but they have a couple of complimentary pieces to go with volume hogs Barkley and Jacobs - if they can do anything with that volume this isn’t the worst team by a long stretch. Perhaps they can finish on a high after what has been quite a rough year.
6. Great Scott (8-5) - down 1: There isn’t necessarily a great deal between a lot of the playoff teams at the moment, but Coach Scott finds themselves beneath the others for now. Much of this is tied to Lawrence, whose renaissance over the last 3 weeks has unsurprisingly coincided with a renaissance for Great Scott. But with his injury the outlook is murkier - Achane popped off last week too, but this creates a difficult decision for the coach - one if he gets right will be great, but if he doesn’t could be underwhelming. Between that there are other good options on this team firmly giving them a shot at a debut playoff berth and perhaps a playoff win.
5. U R Gould (10-3) - up 3: Ok, after last week I can no longer keep this team down - whilst it was a brilliant week and the new highest scoring week of the year, they are still only 5th highest in terms of points scored. But at this stage of the year recent form is obviously far more important, and they are arguably gaining steam. Purdy has been a revelation, brown a stalwart, whilst even Metcalf and pollard are starting to heat up. Connor and La Porta have recaptured their form, so the starting lineup has really come together. If they continue in that fashion then this ranking is too low, but I don’t want to fall into the trap of it just being a few good weeks for them. Oh and by the way - they’re the first team to officially clinch and have a shot at the regular season title.
4. Patistan (9-4) - down 1: Coach Allen lost the smack down in the Southampton division matchup last week, but they’re at a crossroads because they both still have the number 1 seed available to them, whilst also being capable of missing out on playoffs entirely. Truth be told this team is at a bit of a crossroads as well. Goff and Stroud have both petered out a bit of late, and now they’ve potentially lost another Seahawks RB for a time. They are getting JJ back, but only time will tell what that means with the current crop of Vikings QBs. On balance though this is still a very good team capable of beating any team on its day.
3. Burdettinators (8-5) - up 1: An absolutely clutch win by Coach Burdett last week, with the decision to start Collins over Johnson being a pivotal reason for the W. All their playoff options are still on the table as a result, and this team has found its footing again. I don’t think the upside is necessarily there for this team like it is for others, but the floor sure as hell is. Williams and Hurts are the star power for them, and the Dell injury entrenches Collins as a good starter too. They then have multiple different players they can call upon, which allows them to play the matchups - which is surprisingly not something a lot of teams can say in the league this year.
2. The Dream Team (9-4) - no change: Coach Nathwani didn’t blink in the second of his crucial divisional games, picking up a win that brings them one step closer to playoffs. They are a win and in scenario - but if they lose it becomes very murky, because there is still a path to them not achieving a playoff berth. That would be a great shame, as this is such an exciting team - but they are worryingly seemingly becoming more top heavy as the season goes on. Relying on Hill and Lamb is no bad thing, and the players around them like Herbert, Hall, Etienne, Warren, and the bench options can all pop up…but you wouldn’t want to count on them to do so. That could be this teams undoing - or equally, it might be why they win it all.
1. Gridiron Gang (8-5) - no change: A win for my team last week would have clinched the division and allowed me to play for the regular season title this week. Alas, Dell’s injury cost me not only the win, but could very well be the difference between me getting a bye. Whilst I haven’t officially clinched, due to my points forward I’ve virtually made playoffs. Dell’s injury is a huge blow as he has been a WR1 this season, but this team’s strength is its powerhouse running backs (ironically adding moss cost me the win last week as well - go figure). Waddle is a capable enough starter, and the final flex spot can be held down by one of a few (though it’s likely to be Taysom time, who is arguably yet another RB for my team). Allen may well have made the difference last week too if he weren’t on bye, but he remains a strength of this team.
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And there it is, your last power rankings of the season. I never thought I’d be so fuming about playoff seeding (given that I’m virtually guaranteed to make playoffs), but man I wanted that bye and man I wanted that shot at the regular season title. Anyway - let’s all enjoy week 14 as it’ll be the last meaningful games for all of us before we turn our focus to the lucky few - good luck everybody!
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