Good evening, everyone! I had a simple plan for tonight; write Power Rankings. They somehow feel a little less meaningful since the news from Buckingham Palace, however. So, with the rain mercilessly beating at the windowpanes, and feeling perhaps more British than I’d ever thought possible, we turn to the west and to the land of hope and glory. We beckon a new NFL season and, more importantly still, a new LOC season, hoping it too is filled with that hope and that glory. How naïve we remain. For now though, on with the frivolities.
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12. Maxx Effect
Rule 1 of post draft Rankings: Auto-draft teams come at the bottom. They never look as bad on paper as they feel in the room though and, with the most ridiculously talented TE room ever assembled, they’re going to be a thorn some weeks. And, sporting a very well-received new moniker, Coach Nunn will relish climbing these Rankings – as he always bloody well does.
Rule 2: The rest of these Rankings are the analyst’s equivalent of 52 card pickup.
11. Tom’s Tyrants
Entering the team into the roster for the first time and seeing the waves of ‘Q’s that came with them more or less sums up their Ranking. The RB room looks very shaky to start the season (outside of No. 1 gift, Taylor), and it was meant to be the strength after heavy investment. So, this team could take a while to get going. We’ve heard that one before. Getting Brady late was a big bonus.
10. Buccing The Trend
Drafting a QB in fantasy is very easy. In fact, often it is waiting on one that is quite hard. If you enter the draft knowing you don’t want one particular QB, it is a fairly easy thing to avoid them. Well. Enter Coach Taylor. Waiting until 15 QBs had already been selected, Tua (once again) became the one. This could make their season, or it could crush an otherwise well-constructed team. I love the draft, it makes people do crazy things.
9. IKSAN
This feels like a trap team to me. It also feels like Coach Sherwood always plays this game with me, baiting me into ranking him too low and then making be look foolish. Luckily, I lost my dignity writing these Rankings far too long ago to care about silly things like that. Mahomes, Cooper, Deebo, Gibson, they were all players I was avoiding at their draft positions, almost certainly meaning they will come bargains.
8. Burdettinators
Yet another classic Burdettinators team. Upside, hype, impact rookies. Boom, got the lot. What felt like slight reaches for Hall and Etienne have a good chance of looking like masterstrokes. Henry and Lamb will be relied on as the engines to keep the points churning whilst the others spark and flair. The grand plan didn’t work out for them last season, but this looks like a decent mix.
7. U R Gould
This is an upside team if ever I saw one. With a roster bereft of RBs outside the top two picks (both very good picks I might add), they’ll be hoping for some of these WRs to become target vacuums to avoid massive weekly flux. Pittman is the strongest bet, but Toney is also a dark horse. A title fitting to this team, and Coach in fact.
6. Patistan
Starting from a tough draft spot, Jefferson was a real win and Adams was a good example of BPA. Their WRs are very, very good, and should see high volumes of targets. The RBs provide less value at draft position, with mostly shared committee roles. This can work if the offense roles, but perhaps more WRs would have been the bolder move. Can’t knock Herbert at that spot, he has a realistic route to QB1.
5. Forge Flyers
Biggest shock? They didn’t switch draft spots, having earned the honour with an exemplar season last year, built from a strong draft. The draft spot led to tough decisions in the opening rounds, they stuck to their roots and favoured the RB strategy, despite some tempting receivers. My favourite RB they picked was actually Penny, in the later rounds. He, along with Murray, could help them get off to a fast start this season.
4. Napolitans
The fact that Kyle Pitts starts the season warming the bench tells you what you need to know about this team, they have great options. Harris, Higgins and Hill would probably have ranked fairly lowly on my first 3 round Rankings, far from safe bets. But the later picks of Kirk, Edmonds and Stevenson, all at good value, have them looking strong. If the Dolphins Offense looks like The Dolphins think it will, this team will be very good.
3. Gridiron Gang
The start of their draft probably didn’t go as they thought. In fact, Coach Stubbs Jr. has been fairly open about that. Having a TE and QB so early can cause questionable depth, but it can also mean you have an outrageous TE/QB combo that will be matchup proof. Robinson and Woods were two of my favourite picks of the draft, this team has great depth.
2. The Dream Team
This is not just the best WR room in the league this season, it is the best one we’ve ever seen. I mean, I haven’t got the details in front of me, but it has to be right? They’ve also got the best QB room to back it up. The RBs aren’t currently atop their depths chart, but all have obvious paths to valuable touches, and the guaranteed touches will come from the receivers. From the back of the board, they’ve played this well.
1. Bear Necessities
I think I can comfortably say that this is the strongest RB room in the league. As of right now, they have 4 RBs at the top of their depth charts and with guaranteed workload, dreamy stuff. And, it didn’t come at the cost of other high picks, with AJ Brown and Lamar Jackson still consuming high draft capital. If Brown has the same impact he had in Tennessee, watch out.
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And, there we have it. It’s still raining, and Week 1 Power Rankings are still a nightmare to try and put together with any ounce of confidence. If they carried more weight, I’d dedicate them to Liz, but instead I’ll just wish everyone an excellent season. Bring it on.
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