Good evening coaches! Welcome to a brand-new season in the LOC! Season 13 in fact, unlucky for some, and we thought the injuries last year were bad – sheesh. Running unopposed yet again, you fools will have to put up with me as your EDOTLOCCA again, and in turn my rambling Power Rankings. Speaking of which, despite the draft being the highlight of the fantasy calendar, post-draft rankings are always the trickiest and, therefore, most rambling… so I’ll get on with it.
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12. ASIPE
Well, someone had to be bottom, and something tells me Coach Nunn will likely revel in it. Auto-draft giveth and auto-draft taketh awayeth. On this occasion, it gave TEs and took away depth. Having said that, Mahomes and Adams will definitely get a couple of wins all by themselves.
11. IKSAN
There are no bad teams at this time of year, but I feel the early QB pick and perhaps a slight reach for Jacobs has cost them some of the spark other teams display at skill positions. If Josh Allen maintains his 2020 form, he’ll be worth the high price. Lots of this roster will be relying on volume to put up big points.
10. U R Gould
Our second auto-draftee, kind of. The pre-picked players approach helped Coach Gardner get his guys, but it also resulted in a few reaches, notably CeeDee, Thielen and Tonyan (who has subsequently been dropped for a QB). Speaking of which, they also failed to get a single starting QB, early waiver moves were necessary.
9. Tom’s Tyrants
A reasonably solid team, but perhaps lacking some of the matchup proof players that come from higher draft spots. They’ll be looking for the projected jump from Kyler, with a stable of high upside RBs with potentially featured roles to carry them this season.
8. Burdettinators
I reckon there is a decent chance I could have copied and pasted last year’s blurb for Coach Burdett, without fail drafting for upside. If Ridley, Jones and Gus get their projected volume, they’ll be the weekly floor. Without them the bench is typically boom or bust. If Dak regains his pre-injury 2020 form, he could be a steal.
7. Forge Flyers
Another team that stuck to their formula, and it has worked well in recent years. Stocking RBs early (including the big move for Henry) and backing them up with A-Rod should lead to a high weekly floor. I question whether this team was drafted at their ceiling value, including several low volume receivers and injury risks.
6. Napolitans
A solid start for the latest LOC coach, admittedly one more experienced than most of us entered the league with, but slightly less techy, based on the Etch-A-Sketch at least. For me, this draft was based on value, with Saquon, Lamar, Kittle and Boyd all taken at good spots. They may be betting on certain offenses improving, but the roster remains solid.
5. Gridiron Gang
Starting with what I don’t like, Zeke, Hop and Matty Ice need to show me they have plenty of juice left to make this team tick. But, what I do like, is the excellent pass catchers, with good value, and the both solid and high upside bench. This team was built for the long season.
4. Bear Necessities
With Diggs, Kelce and Wilson as theoretically matchup proof, the foundations here are solid. Normally RBs are the reliable floors, but this team is built differently, and their RBs could actually be alarmingly un-featured. Mike Evans and Mike Davis usage and TD return will be the key differentials.
3. The Dream Team
I drafted my first rankings before news on Ekeler, and for now I am sticking to them, although his health could make depth a problem. The Hurts/Herbert combo could be the best in the league, and Hill is the most explosive player. The bench is high upside, particularly the rookies, and this team could be a very strong finisher.
2. Buccing The Trend
I wasn’t planning on putting Coach Taylor’s men this high but, the more I looked, the more I liked it. Sanders is the only question mark amongst their starters in my opinion, and their bench options are very good. Tannehill to Julio could be an electric stack. I don’t think they’ll still be under the radar by Week 4.
1. Patistan
Drafted at number 1 and stayed at number 1 for the rankings. I’m not the biggest fan of the bench, most guys struggling to reach top of their respective depth charts, but the starting roster is the most complete at this stage, an ideal blend of touches and big play potential. Resisting last minute trade offers to secure the QB they wanted rounded it out nicely.
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So, there they are, I hope you enjoyed. I’m sure some of you will be happy but, for those of you that are not, remember that the first rankings are only ever about one notch above opinionated garbage and your EDOTLOCCA is entirely off-grid and noncontactable. If you don’t like it, stop letting me run unopposed. Have a great season everyone!
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